ABOUT

A MESSAGE FROM THE CIYA CARETAKER — 09/10/2024

Hey. |˙ᵕ˙ )ﾉﾞ Thanks for taking the time to visit the site.

You can call me by my real name Lauren, my online persona Lia, or whatever other nicknames you feel like calling me.(.ᴖ.)

Not sure how much people wanna read, but I may as well share my story...

I founded this group, inspired by my own struggles as a young adult introvert, which I still am today.

I've wrestled with social anxiety issues since around my preteens.

I was mostly mute in the classes and groups I was in, usually only saying words when someone asked me a question or directly prompted me to speak.

Sometimes saying complete sentences in front of strangers was considered an accomplishment.

I often felt too different and too afraid to be myself in normal society, and when I did try, I didn't feel as connected to people as I maybe should have.

I just couldn't grasp the mutual closeness with people that I actually wanted, and I found myself falling behind on the friend-making train.

I began to do my hobbies and studies alone, even inventing imaginary friends to cope with the self-imposed isolation.

As time when on, online connections grew appealing to me, when in-person stuff just wasn't really working out.

To spare you some long stories spanning over a couple years, I eventually found myself allowing people to subject me to various types of emotional abuse.

The deeply-rooted fear and insecurity was still there and nagging me, even when I couldn't see the other person's face.

I realized that perpetually distancing myself with the techno-veil was ultimately making my anxiety worse, rather than helping it.

After going through some self-therapy, and developing the strength to disconnect from some unhealthy connections, I realized I only had one choice:

I had to go out into the world again.

And so, as of a few months ago since writing this message, that's what I did.

I began my journey, hopping from place to place, letting the exposure therapy do its work as I forced myself to speak more and focused on what I felt like God was trying to lead me to do...

To love and reach out to people, even though it's still hard for me.

This group, CIYA, is my gift to those who feel alone when surrounded by people, disconnected when speaking to many, or just feel a little trapped and overwhelmed inside when going to work, school, church, or just sitting at home.

This is my home for introverts.